Loss is the first thing that strikes our mind when we see or hear the word, ‘grief’. In some way or the other, we all have faced some of the harshest realities of life. We all have lost either someone dear to us or ourselves.
And, how do we lose ourselves? We generally lose ourselves if we are unable to achieve our dreams or lose self-respect, relationships or overall happiness. We choose to allow ourselves to grieve in our difficult times. But that is not the only thing you can do while experiencing loss. It is not easy to explain, so let us try to understand this predicament with an example.
We all enjoy summer and love this season because of the clear and bright skies that make our surroundings more pleasant. But every year, summer leaves and winter arrives, making us feel cold and uncomfortable. To bring back the cosy summer environment in winters, we light some fires and choose to enjoy a bonfire experience. We instantly feel great about winters and choose to be grateful for the new experience. Similarly, in life, once we start feeling or expressing gratitude, we can find ways to be happy and satisfied with what we have right now.
Life is all about ups and downs, but it boils down to what we choose to do during this roller coaster ride. Do we keep remembering the loss and the bad things that happened to us? Or do we show gratitude for what we once had and what we have today?
1. Appreciate what you have
One way you can choose gratitude over grief is by talking positively about something that was once yours, be it time, people or dreams. You must appreciate what you have today.
2. Accept your loss
As the saying goes, ‘Happiness shared is multiplied and pain shared is divided’. In other words, if you are in pain or grief, sharing it with your loved ones can make you feel calm and peaceful within. Accepting your loss is the first step towards harmony. You must remember that your grieving process will be unique to you. This process can also trigger many different and unexpected emotions, but you need to accept them.
3. Lean towards spirituality
People with negligible or no spiritual beliefs take more time to overcome grief. It has been observed that spirituality or an organised religion is a source of consolation. People lean on worshipping God and try to gain positive energy in order to overcome the challenges in their lives.
4. Love more and be happy
We have seen people getting detached from everyone around them because either they have lost their loved ones or are going through a difficult phase. This detachment, though natural, makes our life even more difficult. It is completely okay to feel vulnerable in such situations. Once you experience this pain, you become more aware of how this loss feels. And here you get the power to help others overcome their part of grief. You can help your family and friends by loving them more and sharing their pain of loss.
By being grateful to our past, we welcome our future and feel peaceful in our present. Believing in ourselves and our good fortune will lead us to great solace. There are times when we lose hope, but we must remember that there is always that one person whom you must take care of – yourself.
There was a time when I felt very low because I lost my best friend in an accident, and this incident left me devastated. I did not know where to go or how to cry and share my pain. My mother helped me overcome this situation. She handed me a bunch of photographs of him and me together, playing and laughing. My childhood memories reappeared in my mind, and I felt great pleasure. She told me to remember him for all the good things he did and all the happiness he shared with me because he is still with us in some other world. I knew he was gone, but I choose to believe that he is still there in some other world looking at me and asking me to be happy now.